


An Inconstant Present

by Trixxster103



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Getting Together, Glittradora Endgame, Hurt/Comfort, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Post-Season/Series 05, Trans Bow (She-Ra), cw: past dysphoria, mentions of gender surgery, slowburn, starts slow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:35:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24259747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trixxster103/pseuds/Trixxster103
Summary: With the war over and the future theirs to make, the Best Squad re-examines their relationships with each other, and tensions mount when their intergalactic road trip seems to end before it can begin. Catra learns to heal and examines what it means to share Adora with the other people that love her.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra/Glimmer (She-Ra), Adora/Glimmer (She-Ra), Catra/Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 58





	1. That Night in the Grass

The glowing magicflakes that sprouted pure energy and new life were slow to dissipate. Some of the soldiers of the Rebellion lay down where they stood, and slept safe in the new grass beside now obsolete weapons. Others went their weary way home, collapsing into the beds and arms of loved ones, into a night for once silent of fighting, a night holding its breath before dawn broke and they’d have to clean up, have to think about the mess they had made.

The Best Friend Squad stayed out as long as they could, talking and laughing about empty things, watching the soldiers and their friends go on their ways. They knew if one of them fell asleep that their perfect newborn moment would die after barely beginning. They held on to it, fought off sleep as long as they could, breathed in that moment in the grass under the stars of Etheria. For those hours under the deepening night sky, it was an eternal present, free from the blood of the past and unmarked by the sweat and pain of building a new future.

Bow closed his eyes for a moment too long and then his head was lolling against Adora’s shoulder, and they were all giggling, Catra trying to poke him awake. Glimmer smiled, drunk with sleep, pulled Adora in one last willing hug, forced Catra into one, and then teleported away, with Bow in her arms.

The moment didn’t shatter just yet, but Catra could feel it straining, could feel the cracks. Dawn would come, no matter what they did and with it a future to build. She forgot about all of that when Adora, emboldened with their sudden privacy, drew her close, laid down in the grass with Catra tucked warm and safe into her arms, whispering soft nothings into her ears.

Adora told her about the vision she’d had, the future she wished for. She spelled it out, every detail in sweet pleasing whispers meant to lull her to sleep. Catra listened, stroked Adora’s hand gently, and promised herself she would do whatever she could to make that vision come true.

Even as her breathing slowed and Adora’s eyes closed for longer and longer stretches, Catra did not sleep, too wired with thoughts, unwilling to lose that fragile moment where she could just exist in Adora’s arms, could push away all the pain and the fear and the future.

The cracks widened further when Adora started to snore and her grip slackened. Catra rolled away, to lay beside her in the soft grass, looking up at the stars and thinking. Adora was not – could not be – the center of her universe. There in the grass she was, but she had other friends, other people, even in that vision, even when they both stayed, even when Adora was finally selfish, her wish was not only Catra.

She had only just begun to accept it. Bow she didn’t mind so much, thought she might even be able to like him one day, and that perhaps he would be able to forgive her and like her back. Glimmer was harder. Something about her, in that imagined future, sat heavy in Catra’s gut, a strange simmering secret.

That secret would wait. Adora made a soft, sad whimper in her sleep, and Catra rolled her over, pressing Adora’s back to her front, draping her arm across her body, secure and safe. She kissed the shell of Adora’s ear and she calmed again, breath evening. Catra took a breath of her own, long and deep, accepted the shattering moment there in the grass, and she too, slept.


	2. Promises Deferred

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the angst! CW for mentions of surgery, including magical gender affirming surgery and past dysphoria.

They don’t go on their journey to restore magic to the universe right away. Etheria needs to heal first. And despite Micah being back, Glimmer is still the current Queen, and she must lead her kingdom through a new peace time. There are trade deals to negotiate, funds for war that must be redistributed to other social programs – like feeding the hungry, rebuilding communities, finding responsible caring families for the war orphans and creating community development programs.

Glimmer appoints advisors: Adora, Bow, the princesses, a selection of elected citizens from various communities and even Kyle and Catra. When people ask and look at her suspiciously the Queen defends her with an icy patience, reminding people that Catra was a leader, and that it is important to have as many unique voices at the table as possible. It doesn’t ease the obvious tension. Glimmer and Adora assure her that with time people’s opinion will change. Catra’s not so sure. Even Kyle is more trusted than her, and he was Horde too.

It is Catra that brings it up, after long hours of watching silently and carefully. The topic had shifted from a long argument about food allocation to what was supposed to be the lighter topic of the intergalactic road trip.

“What if there are planets that don’t want their magic restored?” Catra suggests it firmly, her arms crossed to try and convince herself that she doesn’t actually care about what the others think of her. She feels her ear twitch traitorously.

The entire table goes silent. Glimmer jolts suddenly as Catra watches the thoughts scream through her mind. The Queen pales and looks slightly sick and Catra has to look around the rest of the table or she’s going to cry. A few people look vaguely offended, but also confused about why they are offended. It is a possibility they haven’t considered yet, and it means more days spent arguing to get things just right instead of being able to just do them. They’re tired, just for a minute, of future building. They want a win, a clear and easy goal unmuddled with shades of grey morals, that they can hold in their hands as a comfort when things get hard again.

The restoration of magic has been a good thing for all of them at that table, and for many of the princesses magic is not only essential to their way of life, but also informs their identity and way of being. Catra can understand why it would feel like an attack.

At first Adora looks worried and vaguely guilty – Catra can read her too well now that they’re together and she knows what she’s thinking. Adora is offended and relieved in equal measure; she is She-Ra, a hero who has saved one world and will do anything to save others. There is doubt in that expression, does Catra think she can’t do it? Does she not trust her? Is this another jab at magic and princesses and all that Adora believes in and holds on to? Then there is guilt for ever doubting Catra.

The emotions flash across Adora’s face before she schools it neutral, unaware that Catra has read her like a book. Adora’s hand finds Catra’s under the table as the silence grows longer. No one wants to be the first person to talk or draw attention to themself.

Glimmer catches Catra’s gaze and holds it. There is something watery there, a sadness that she cannot put into words. Adora and her were alone in the Heart, but it was Glimmer who was with her on the ship. They were the closest to the terror of Horde Prime, the two most touched by his darkness. Catra feels it claw at her. It was literally inside of her, but she wonders if some of it wasn’t also in the Queen in some way, choking her too, waking her in the middle of the night to nightmares.

Glimmer nods, understanding immediately what Catra has said. The room feels colder. A road trip would be nice. Taking out more of Horde Prime’s leftover war bots would be nice. But they must not become him.

“Catra’s right.” Glimmer articulates slowly. “We must not impose our will on other planets. To do so means we become no better than the First Ones, no better than Horde Prime. I propose a motion to plan communication missions instead. We shall make contact with a planet, and then with their primary input assess if they want help and what that help will look like. We shall discuss this motion more at the next meeting.” 

There’s a collective intake of breath, like the whole room is ready to start yelling at each other, but Glimmer slams her hands on the table, and glares at each person who even looks like they’re thinking of speaking; every bit the regal Queen she is meant to be. There is none of the scared watery sadness from the ship, none of the guilt of being wrong, no fear. There is anger, but the kind that is properly wielded. Catra admires Glimmer in that moment of leadership that is both selfish and selfless.

“Dismissed.” Glimmer grits out and watches everyone awkwardly stand to leave. The tension in the room is palpable, but they all listen.

Catra watches them file out. People listened to her because they were afraid of her, but people listen to Glimmer because they respect her and she listens back. Catra sees this with the way that Glimmer shakes each person’s hand as they leave, thanking them for coming in a low voice. The silence is too heavy for anything louder than a whisper. Kyle seems rankled, pale and anxious. Glimmer takes him aside and Catra, with her extra sensitive ears, listens to her explain that she made everyone leave because they need time to eat and sleep on the new idea, on what has been suggested, that such things make clearer heads, and that she is angry at no one in particular, just the situation, just Horde Prime. She apologizes still for that anger, and promises to do better.

Kyle leaves, and it is only Catra, Adora and Bow who are left. Glimmer lets out a long sigh. The tension leaves her shoulders and she slumps in her seat. The Queen is gone, and there is only her, young and so tired. If Glimmer could she would hand off the kingdom to her father, but he’s too out of touch, has been gone for too long to understand what the people of Bright Moon need. Catra can hear him lingering outside the door to the meeting room, shuffling, trying not to pace. When the rest of them leave, she knows he will swoop in to offer comfort to his daughter. It is all he can do since he can’t be an advisor.

“Are we seriously not going to bring magic back to the universe, Glimmer?” Bow anger articulates, a fist clenched across his stomach and the other jabbing the air in Glimmer’s direction.

“Yes! I mean – no – I mean, I already said this is something we’re going to discuss as a group.” Glimmer jumps to stand. Bow is taller than her, but that’s not going to stop her from making her point.

“Adora is magic, Glimmer! You’re magic! Everything is demonstrably better now for bringing back magic.” Bow crosses his arms and sets his jaw.

“Oh, so now you’re in favor of bringing back magic.” Glimmer shouts this, warping back and forth across the room instead of pacing. “When I was the one suggesting we rebalance the Heart, that was a bad thing, but when you say we should bring back magic, it’s a good thing.”

“That could’ve killed people.”

“This could kill people!”

They’re at each other’s throat’s then, really, truly fighting. It’s different from the fight about the Heart. That one was aborted early, simmered away through danger and the crisis of a war. But this is peacetime. Bow and Glimmer have plenty of time and energy to hurt each other and nothing to distract them otherwise.

“Guys,” Adora interrupts, “Maybe we should discuss this later? After sleeping. Like everyone else.”

Bow and Glimmer snap their heads to glare at each her, and she throws up her hands in surrender.

“You’re not magic, Bow, shouldn’t you understand how dangerous it can be?” Glimmer says it knowing it will hurt Bow. It’s like scratching as an old scar. He’s too good, she knows, has grown into his role, loves himself – mostly. But there was a time when he wished he could be as magical as her, and the only solution he had was to get emotionally healthy enough to accept that he never would be. He flinches, but only just.

Glimmer feels her own anger hurt her then for trying to hurt Bow. She understands Catra in that moment. Self-destruction is the easy path.

Bow clenches his eyes shut, and Glimmer’s heart lurches in her chest. Bow is not afraid to cry in front of people. He lets a tear fall down his face, and wipes it away with his hand. Then quietly he says, “I will never be magic Glimmer. I don’t know what it feels like. But I know I used to feel so incomplete, like something was missing, even if everyone else couldn’t see it, and the sorcerers of Mystacor helped me.”

Bow splays his hand over his heart, and Glimmer’s mind creates a desaturated double image, laid over that one, from a time much happier. From the time when he finally saw himself whole in a mirror, his hand in the same place, examining the scars on his chest, wincing at the pain in his groin that even magic couldn’t cure, that he just had to wait out. “I want to do that for everyone else.”

Glimmer hates herself when she says it, but does so anyways. “It’s not that simple, Bow. You have to know that!” She knows he does. It wasn’t simple for him to figure out who he was, but she can see it, the hope in his eyes. He wants it to be that simple for everyone else.

“Give me one example why we shouldn’t bring back magic?” Bow asks quietly.

“What if their planet has incredible technology, like Entrapta’s and they’re happy without magic, and it only singles out people and makes them fight? The war nearly destroyed Etheria.” It’s not a lie. Not exactly. Glimmer doesn’t think she can properly articulate why she feels the way she does, but she trusts the physical sensations that created such sudden strong feelings; the implication of Catra’s contrarian statement had made her stomach coil with nausea and her vision swim.

Bow sighs, and reaches out to try and place his hand on Glimmer’s shoulder. “We don’t know that will happen. We won’t be like Hordak or Horde Prime.”

“You weren’t there Bow!” Glimmer screams. “You weren’t on that ship! Horde Prime took me into his horrible trophy room filled with the ghosts of dead civilizations. I almost killed everyone once, and I’ve seen what that kind of power does to a person, and I will not let that happen again. Catra is right. We can’t just do whatever we want with the rest of the universe!”

Glimmer turns to look at Catra and Adora, giving both of them a shaky smile. “Back me up here Catra?” she pleads.

Catra runs.

She had promised herself she wouldn’t run away anymore, and gods is she trying, but she can’t handle that sympathy from Glimmer, their still untalked about experiences on that ship. It’s all too much, too heavy, and now, one stray comment later, Bow and Glimmer are fighting again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed reading this next chapter! I loved the ending of She-Ra, but I couldn't stop thinking about the 'bring back magic to the universe' thing and eventually it turned into this whole idea of exploring what it really meant and what would happen if one of the character mentioned that they thought it wasn't a good idea. 
> 
> Sorry to have Bow and Glimmer fight more. But I'm a sucker for the drama of it all.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm screaming about that She-ra ending! Come scream with me in the comments! 
> 
> Wrote this fic cause I can't pick between Catra x Adora and Glimmer x Adora, and then I realized I don't have to! Rating might change in the later chapters. Hoping to update at least once a week, but we'll see how it goes with the quarantine sapping my creative energy. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
